loosening my grip

this year taught me how to release

what i once believed i would carry forever,

that some versions of us aren’t meant to stick around,

some versions exist

only long enough

to be thanked and set free.

so i said goodbye to parts of myself,

the ones that stayed too long

and left quiet bruises behind.

reality arrived without warning,

and i realized

there are no more places left to hide.

but truth always has a way of finding us

when we are ready.

i learned that holding on

can cut just as deeply

as letting go.

and i hated that feeling,

of never knowing which turn is right,

or feeling lost,

but i guess that's just

part of the human experience.

it’s not always about finding yourself;

sometimes it’s about giving yourself time

to understand who you are

amid the crashing waves.

i would tilt my head

whenever i looked in the mirror,

wondering who this wandering girl was,

chasing shadows through the night,

letting her thoughts spill into the abyss,

following the quiet pull of her mind.

but i am learning

to meet her with patience

instead of judgment.

i stopped asking her

to have everything figured out.

i let her be unfinished,

loving her simply for existing.

somewhere along the way,

i paused long enough to notice

how easily i adapted to chaos,

to instability,

to digging up things that were meant

to stay buried.

but the chaos brought clarity,

the instability taught balance,

and even the things i thought should stay hidden

revealed beautiful lessons i needed to see.

most importantly, this year reminded me

we are still becoming,

still finding our way to whole,

and that becoming shouldn't be rushed.

it moves with gentle love.

so i started to loosen my grip, softly,

letting myself breathe

in the grace of every quiet dawn,

watching the light settle

on the unfolding parts of me.

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