I used to entertain thoughts that convinced me to dislike myself. Maybe "tolerate" myself is more accurate. These thoughts urged me to believe that I wasn't actually who I was meant to be. They persuaded me to try harder - even though I'd fail anyways - stay quiet - I have nothing good to say, right? - and blend into the crowd - I'd embarrass yourself either way. These thoughts attempted to play themselves off as my own. They tried to convince me that changing who I was would help me become more comfortable in my own skin. As soon as I believed these lies to be true, I bought into the lifestyle that changing who I was is what would lead to self-acceptance.

What.

A.

Bold.

Faced.

Lie. 

And when I say bold, I actually mean cowardly. These lies were born solely to distract me enough that I would watch my destiny pass me by. I intimidated the forces of the world that actually believed in my abilities to create change more than I did. Because I believed the fog they lowered over my eyes.

The more I tried to reach for what others had, the more uncomfortable I became in my own skin. The more exhausted I became with trying to be someone I wasn't. I realize now that I simply didn't know who I was. I didn't even give myself time to get to know me. I didn't recognize the power in my own words.

So I tried something different. I flipped my own table. The more work I put into disproving these thoughts, the more comfortable I became in my own skin. I started to fall in love with the way my thoughts fought for me. I trusted myself again. I started to fall in love with my outlandish sarcasm. I mean, you should really get to know me, I'm pretty funny.  The more I spoke the more I realized that I want to encourage deep thinking in others for the rest of my life. I stopped deconstructing the specific position of justice that naturally formed in my own heart. And finally - now - I always give a shout out to that cute little hair lock of mine that forms a tight curl when the rest of my hair reflects a confused crashing wave at sea. It struts its own stuff and I adore it.

All that to say, I love me. I also love you. Oh sure I don't really "know" you but I don't need to know every secret in your heart to know that in some way or anything you help make the world go 'round. I love that you exist. The you that loves cats. I'm allergic, so thanks for loving them so well for me. The you that dye's their hair a different color every few months. I'm not brave enough right now to do colors. Thank you for fully expressing yourself. The you that wakes up energized in the morning. I'll enjoy the darkness of night for you if you fully embrace the fresh morning dew.

I don't want another me in this world, I want you. The real, authentic, possibly misunderstood you.

I hope that if there are any bold faced lies that are keeping you from stepping into who you are - or 5 or 100 - you tackle them one moment, one passing thought at a time. Please step out from the shore and join me as we change our own ocean tides. Nothing under this sun is going to tell me how to crash my own wave again; lest they want to get lost under my current.